Uh-huh

Soooo, he’s going to use tax payer dollars to fund Christian science reading rooms across the nation?

This is just a euphemism for alchemy isn’t it. He’s going to dump billions of taxpayer dollars into a quest to turn lead into gold.

Do they even know how science works?

In China?

They don’t mean “Golden age of science” as a time when lots of awesome and important science gets done. He fired all the scientists. But he IS having the plain black ink in science printers replaced with a sparkly gold ink, so all of the bad science will look way more shiny and golden.

…by leaving office

We’ll reach new heights in astrology and horoscopes. Tea leaves will hold no more secrets and we’ll become a major exporter in rabbit feet! /s

The report also seems not to realize that it is being written by the Trump administration.

There are a few delightful digs like this in this article.

The only thing that’s golden is the tacky veneer on the White House walls in the picture.

The Golden Age will begin once the Orange Era concludes.

“Can”, not “will”. A subtle but important distinction.

What? By dying?

…by axing or redirecting (read: embezzling) funds once spent on actual science?

He won’t. But he totally can