[ Insert “Rigor-tortoise” joke here ]
(Once) Living evidence that abortion is moral
Burn in hell next to Kissinger
“Mitch McConnell remaining technically alive for an extra three weeks because of a manipulative procedural maneuver is exactly how he would have wanted to go out,” Morris wrote in a social media post on X.
100% on brand for Mitch
The gov should replace him now and then let the pieces fall where they may.
GOP will complain but will be unable to produce McConnell
Rest in piss
“I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction.”
It’s “I have never wished anyone dead, but…”
The quote I lifted is from Clarence Darrow’s 1932 memoir.
Well that would be a lie then.
Context:
https://www.rawstory.com/mitch-mcconnell-2677159427/
https://www.thedailybeast.com/maga-demands-proof-of-life-for-mitch-mcconnell/
https://www.snopes.com/news/2026/07/07/mitch-mcconnell-dead-rumors/
https://www.thedailybeast.com/maga-senator-admits-truth-about-mitch-mcconnells-condition/
TLDR:
KY GOP is suspected of actively suppressing any/all news of his passing and/or keeping him on life support until after the first week of August in order to avoid triggering a special election.
Update
NY Post has run a story saying Glitch called the same people who have already claimed without any evidence to have spoken with him in the time since June 14th. He’s definitely fucking dead.
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He might be dead, he might be braindead and on life support, he might be recovering. Until we see a body, it’s impossible to know.
Schrödinger’s Turtle
He was a fucking traitor, right up to the bitter end.
that took me a minute
lol
Lol, to not with
The joke is that Cain has been dead since 2020. Presumably he and Mitch chatted in hell.
I figured it out, far too late, but I did. Gave me a good chuckle
Lol that dude’s been a walking corpse for so long. Even before his void staring contests.
Nightmare fuel
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Ding-dong! The Mitch is dead
Which old Mitch? The Wicked Mitch!
Ding-dong! The Wicked Mitch is dead
Wake up, you sleepy head
Rub your eyes, get out of bed
Wake up, the Wicked Mitch is dead
He’s gone where the goblins go
Below, below, below
Yo-ho, let’s open up and sing and ring the bells out
Ding-dong, the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low
Let them know the Wicked Mitch is dead!So where’s our next public toilet going to end up?
High probability it’ll be erected somewhere in mainland China.
insert galactic celebration from end of Return of The Jedi
Better late than never.
Ostensibly they are avoiding announcing it to avoid a special election. Even in death he is still gaming the system
I dunno why they’re bothering, his replacement is guaranteed to be a Republican.
It seems like they’re trying to keep Massie specifically from going for the special election, because he defied Trump on the Epstein files.
