Oh no! I’m also shaped like a vagina.

I’m a school bus driver. A few years ago I was about to switch to a different route, and was riding in the seats with my elementary school kids while the driver who was taking over drove and learned the route. This was towards the end of COVID and I had always worn a mask while driving. The kids said “we’ve never seen you without a mask. Would you take it off?” I said sure why not and took it off. A second-grade girl said “wow, you’re really cute, would you marry me?” The entire rest of the bus, sixty-some kids in perfect unison, went “EWWWWWWW!”

The extra-amusing thing is that I look like David Letterman in his “meth Santa” phase, complete with a foot-long snow-white beard and bald head. I’m still worried about that little girl.

Nik Fury … because he can’t c.

Hire people to create the illusion of growth, fire them to create the illusion that you know what you’re doing. The cycle of life!

reporting from Bloomberg on April 1

Um …

I’ve long said that the more people you add to a software project, the longer it will take and the worse the final product will be. Your scenario describes one of the many reasons why this is the case.

Not many people know that “Baba Yaga” is the real name of the song, not “Teenage Wasteland”.

Mine was $300 (a '76 Rabbit) and a couple of weeks later I got rear-ended and his insurance company totaled my car and gave me a $700 check. The car wasn’t any worse than before I got hit and I drove it another three years, so -$400 for three years of car.

No way in hell I could buy a new car. They cost more than my house.

Hire a bunch of people to create the illusion of growth. Fire a bunch of people to create the illusion of ruthless efficiency. Rinse and repeat.

My tax preparer had his tax software (expensive cloud-based shit that costs in the neighborhood of $30K per month) go completely down on him for a couple of months this spring (obviously not the best time for this). He had to have all of his clients file for extensions. When he told me about this I explained that it was almost certainly because the software company started using AI. He got all defensive and started saying how great he thought AI was, but it turns out he was talking about the use of AI instead of this expensive software and his employees for prepping tax returns.

I was already mentally picking out a new tax preparer, but when he mentioned that he was personally investing in a “reactionless space engine” where the inventor used ChatGPT to fix all the problems he was having with it, I made a point of starting the search that afternoon.

But but … you can hear people cheering maniacally every time one of their rockets comes back to land! It must be a legit company.

I prefer my DT466e. And weed.

That’s almost the same population ratio as Cape Verde (526,000) and Argentina (46 million).

And a chunk of Brazil!

Ah, TeamViewer is what I actually used. Got it mixed up with Teams.

My 90 year old mom has been getting into World Cup this time around. Knows absolutely nothing about soccer. Very first game she was all “why are they rolling around on the ground like that? Nobody touched them.”

Whatever you do, don’t read Guns, Germs and Steel. It’s just fucking nonsense.

Mann’s follow-up book 1493 is equally good.

Actually, they did. The clones were all written for cable companies and ISPs and offered to their customers as a free perk. These companies promoted the shit out of them and still nobody ever used them.

I even “starred” in one of these ads. I had the amusing role of being amazed that I could make a phone call with the app … when the app was running on a fucking iPhone.