I’m a school bus driver. A few years ago I was about to switch to a different route, and was riding in the seats with my elementary school kids while the driver who was taking over drove and learned the route. This was towards the end of COVID and I had always worn a mask while driving. The kids said “we’ve never seen you without a mask. Would you take it off?” I said sure why not and took it off. A second-grade girl said “wow, you’re really cute, would you marry me?” The entire rest of the bus, sixty-some kids in perfect unison, went “EWWWWWWW!”

The extra-amusing thing is that I look like David Letterman in his “meth Santa” phase, complete with a foot-long snow-white beard and bald head. I’m still worried about that little girl.