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No, no. It’s absolutely true.
Scientists have known for years that the Earth’s gravitational field is remarkably stable, except when I fart.
At precisely 8:47 PM, I unleashed a fart of such extraordinary magnitude that NASA immediately detected a gravitational anomaly.
For exactly seven seconds, gravity simply gave up.
Cars floated. Birds were suddenly extremely confused. Somewhere in Ohio, a man watched his refrigerator slowly drift toward the ceiling.
NASA scrambled to identify the source.
“Where is this coming from?”
The technician checked the instruments.
“Sir… Georgia.”
A long silence followed.
“Dear God.”
At exactly seven seconds, gravity returned.
Scientists are now studying the event.
I have been asked not to fart again.
I have declined to comment.
Your story stinks! It reeks!