• brucethemoose@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I know not everyone has great relationships with their folks, but I wish “living with your parents” and generational compounds was the norm, not taboo, in western culture.

    Think about it. It solves a whole bunch of worsening problems at once:

    • Lonely seniors get attention and (when possible) stuff to do.

    • It’d also keeps many out of nursing homes, which is a tremendous global expense.

    • Children get a family “tribe” to live with, which is what our brains are wired for anyway.

    • It takes some financial pressure off kids’ parents, which buys them some time with them.

    • Saves on hired child caregivers (again, a massive cost).

    • “Safer” social dynamics, IMO. It’s harder for a single messed up family member to do so much damaged, and offers a bigger support net.

    • Blunts expensive housing, cost of living, generational wealth gaps, carbon footprints.

    • The structure doesn’t have to be “traditional” these days, either. And it doesn’t preclude assisted living, which can be a massive burden on children.

    In other words, this is a problem that shouldn’t really exist in the first place, IMO. It’s not natural.

    • radamant@lemmy.world
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      17 hours ago

      Children don’t really want to live with their parents. I live in Thailand, many people here are poor and live with their families for a much longer time. Well, that leads to things that if you’re dating a girl, she’ll try to move in with you in like 1 month of dating to escape her family (I personally wouldn’t move in with someone until like a year at least). In these families, the kids are used as “retirement” and have to send money to their parents every month (I know a few girls that make like 15000 baht a month and give 50% of that to their parents that do nothing). The “more communal” living they have in non-wesern countries doesn’t come from a good quality of life. I’d say the fact that in the west children move out quickly is a sign of a much much better quality of life in the country on average.

      • brucethemoose@lemmy.world
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        17 hours ago

        That’s fair, but does it have to be like that? Kids paying parents, for example, seems more like a choice than a necessity of living together.


        I’ve just seen a lot of misery from the separation, even in the west. Elderly folks in miserable, expensive retirement homes, or new parents that just can’t get by with the amount of labor between them while their folks are lonely just across town. Dysfunctional households that would’ve never deteriorated with another set of eyes there.

        …Maybe family compounds are too far. But I think families have moved to the other extreme of “uncommunality,” at least in some subcultures here, where we get a little too distant from other family.

        • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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          12 hours ago

          It’s ok to visit and hang out, but trust me.

          Being bundled together with people, with no personal space is miserable.

          Especially with people who would be tempted to make choices for you.