Wait, I need to buy stock in Champagne first

If I sprayed them with a hose would it waterboard them?

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oh wow, so you were the first poor family? I had no idea life was a perfect utopia where nobody struggled until your parents. I always thought the story of Adam and Eve was something that took place millions of years ago but it turns out it happened in 1966.

I’m honored to meet the child of the first humans to ever suffer

You said, “boomer cunts stole everything from future generations and will claim to their dying breath that THEY had it rough.”

But then you said, “My mother and stepdad didn’t have power or running water for 5 years”

Weird, it’s almost like they did have it rough after all

So you grew up rich? Your parents had no struggles at all right? So I mean, wow, that must have been nice. They basically had infinite money to raise you with… that’s awesome. I’m happy for you