• Eldritch@piefed.worldEnglish
    241·
    9 days ago

    Mitch is one of the best, most wholesome, funniest stand up comics you will ever likely see. If you haven’t you should. His whole schtick was just himself. A stand up comic with legitimate stage fright and anxiety in crowds. He was an absurd contradiction and made absurdity his brand. Owning it. Watching him on stage he would constantly find ways to avoid starring out at the crowd. The aviator shades. Playing with his hair. At one set he just announced to the crowd that he was gonna turn around for a while. Like it was a bit. But still continued the set without missing a beat. Died of an OD at 37 unfortunately.

    I like escalators, because an escalator can never break; it can only become stairs. There would never be an “Escalator Temporarily Out of Order” sign. Only an “Escalator Temporarily Stairs… Sorry for the Convenience.”

    You know, I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just gonna ask where they’re going and hook up with 'em later.

    I order the club sandwich all the time. And I’m not even a member, man. I don’t know how I get away with it.

    I want to hang a map of the world in my house. Then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations I’ve traveled to, but first I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map, so it won’t fall down.

    You know when you go to a restaurant on the weekends, it’s busy, so they start a waiting list? They start calling out names, they say “Dufrane, party of two. Table ready for Dufrane, party of two.” And if no one answers, they’ll say their name again. “Dufrane, party of two.” But then if no one answers they’ll just go right on to the next name. “Bush, party of three.” Yeah, but what happened to the Dufranes? No one seems to care. Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing. You people are selfish. The Dufranes are in someone’s trunk right now, with duct tape over their mouths. And they’re hungry - that’s a double whammy. We need help. “Bush, SEARCH party of three! You can eat once you find the Dufranes.”

    Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus… or a really cool opotamus?

    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
      3·
      8 days ago

      Guess he never saw any of those videos out of China about what escalator failures can look like when they turn into meat grinders instead of stairs.