You begin by finding or making things you love and like about yourself and use that as a scaffolding upon which you can develop self love, before reopening the traumas to heal properly from them. I’d recommend building a deck, maybe with a hot tub and fire pit, it’ll get you moving, be a big project you can really be proud of, and leave you with a nice place to introspect. After that we can swing by the gardening section so you can feel the responsibility of keeping something alive and the joy of having plants in your living space.