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Wow that sounds like an insane relationship. I guess she only really dared being herself after you moved in together? Hopefully you managed to get out without too many scars on your soul.
We were both each other’s first serious partner, we had no clue what we were doing. We just loved each other and thought that was all that mattered. It was 15 years ago so it’s pretty much an afterthought. I had worse partners since her who were not just ignorant, but straight up malicious and manipulative.