Brad uses welfare to pay for a refrigerator and a phone with your money, and watches The Price is Right all day long, laughing in a carefree manner. Brad is why you can’t get a 9 AM Saturday tee time, and is also why your kids won’t speak to you. Brad has access to unlimited viagra, with none of the side effects listed during the Fox Friends commercial break, and a full head of hair, thanks to the welfare state.